Author Harvest ‘bales’ up Imelda Evans

It’s a Harvest celebration. Congrats on your book’s release, Imelda. Now in all the excitement I believe you have still managed to whip up feast and it starts with…

Ah, morning tea… my favourite meal: a little smackerel of something, after second breakfast and before luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner and supper.  Wait, where was I?

(*salivate*)

Well now, what we have depends on how much of a stickler for protocol you are.  I have some freshly baked sultana buttercake cooling on the bench as I type, which would go down well with the strong morning tea brewing in the pot.  But perhaps you are a coffee girl?  In which case, perhaps you might also like a piece of dark chocolate pie?  I don’t know whether it’s quite the done thing to have chocolate before the sun’s over the yardarm, but if you don’t mind, I don’t!

(*swoon*)

I think I might also have some brownies and almond biscuits in very cunning shapes in the freezer and they would only take a minute to thaw.  If you really want to go to town, I could microwave the brownie and we could have them with cream.  Who cares if it’s more of a pudding that way?  There’s no standing on ceremony here!

(*drool* This country girl hasn’t  been to town for a while. Bring it on.)

In the very unlikely event that you don’t fancy anything sweet, I could whip up some cucumber sandwiches and I have very cute little plates that match the teacups to serve them on.

Will that do?  I do love a visitor, but hate the idea of not having enough!

Okay… (*mumbles* – mouth full)… feel free to carry on without me, Imelda. I’ll just hang over here in the corner and graze a little!

At home…
My mum says garden gnomes make a house a home! Are you loud and proud in your love of garden gnomes at home – or a closet gnomer?
I don’t have any gnomes, but I have mosaics, froggy windchimes and a bird statue. I’m also looking into a birdbath, so I feel it can only be a matter of time…

(Who cares about the gnomes. You have great food!)

What vegetable (or fruit) have you always wanted to grow at home?
Mushrooms and asparagus. I have grown the latter but never the former. I must get onto that!

If I came to your home and looked in the refrigerator, what would I find?
Right now? Milk, lemons, approximately 75 jars of assorted condiments, jams, dressings and garlic, yoghurt, butter, cheese, icecream, sour cream, coleslaw and dog food. I think I need to go to the shop. And that I will never have osteoporosis.

If you sorted your wardrobe by colour, what colour would stand out? (Ahh, do you sort your wardrobe by colour?!)
Sadly, at the moment, mostly black. But I do live in Melbourne, which is some excuse and I have many coloured scarves!

Describe what you’re wearing now? (Be honest!)
Trackies (black) and a jumper (not black!). Bare feet, bare face. Pretty standard uniform!

Whose home would you like to housesit and why?
Lord Elrond. I rather fancy living in Rivendell. Failing that, Bilbo, as there seems something very cosy about a Hobbit hole. I suspect the larder would be well stocked at Bag End, too.

Country curiosities…
We love a sunburnt country (slip, slop, slap and all that). What’s your ideal hat? Or are you a boots person?
Both! I like a hat with a broad brim, as I hate wearing sunscreen. I carry my own shade. Even if it’s a fancy hat, I like one that makes a statement. Think Audrey Hepburn at the races in My Fair Lady.

(So I can get away with saying… ‘…move yer bloomin’ arse!’)

If you were a tree (or animal) what kind of tree (animal) would you be?
When a friend answered this in high school, he drew me as a parrot – colourful and loud! Probably fair…

(You mean this probing question has been asked before? In high school no less?)

Now for the big question… Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the worms were greener on the other side…

About you…
Your turning point: when was that point in your life that you realized that being an author was no longer going to be just a dream but a reality and a career?
It was when I was still a freelance copywriter. I had been doing it for about 10 years and was working regularly, when one day I suddenly realised that I had actually achieved my dream of being a professional writer. I was staggered, as previously, I had shelved that one in the same part of my ‘dreams’ shelf as winning a tennis grand slam – viz, never going to happen. But I had done it and realising that gave me the guts to have a go at doing it in fiction.

What is the hardest part of writing for you?
Overcoming the fear that I won’t be able to realise the idea I have in my head – that I won’t be able to do it justice. I know that the only way to do that is one word at a time, yet still have to remind myself just about every day!

If someone was to write your biography, what do you think the title should be?
Why on earth would anyone want to? Okay, how about ‘She was a lot more interesting than she looks on paper?”

What question have you always wanted to be asked in an interview? How would you answer that question?
Since this is the one of the very few interviews I have ever done as myself (as opposed to a representative of a group) I don’t know! But on reflection, I’m sure the answer would be… world peace, universal female education or Great Keppel Island.

Fun stuff… 
What does your protagonist think about you? Would he or she want to hang out with you, the author, his/her creator.
I hope so. I write women who I would like to know, so I hope they’d want to know me. Besides I gave her the love of her life, of course she would like me! Of course, I also put her through the wringer, but I think she’s big enough to let that go. 😉

If you could trade places with any other person for a week, famous or not famous, living or dead, real or fictional, with whom would it be?
Right now? Peter Jackson! I’d get to direct the Hobbit and work with all those fabulously talented people. (And Richard Armitage, but I swear I only thought of him now. I just want to walk onto the sets!) Failing that, I wouldn’t mind being Alex Kingston when she’s playing River Song in Dr Who.

If I said to you, “Just entertain me for five minutes, I’m not going to talk,” what would you do?
First, I’d hand you a drink. Then I’d tell you a story or sing you a song or three (which would also be a story, because that’s how I roll).

(Sing? Three songs? Perhaps you should make that three drinks then!)

What food would you be?
This interview has the record for the most number of times I have thought of myself as inanimate objects since the last time I did an improv class! Okay, something involving confectioner’s custard and pastry. No, wait, that’s what I like to EAT and that gives this answer weirdly auto-canabalistic overtones. Something salty and spicy and a bit sweet. How about a chili chip dipped in dark chocolate?

(And that’s not weird????)

What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Crinolines. Knives. The wheel. Wait, how long before sliced bread are we talking?
Of course, the real answer to this is just bread. Never met a carbohydrate I didn’t like.

(*sigh* Carbohydrates… I hear ya!)

Name 5 uses for a stapler that has not staple pins.

1. Bug whacker.
2. Castanet (can that be singular?).
3. Back scratcher.
4. Door stop.
5. Projectile when annoyed.

How weird are you? Rate yourself on a scale of 1 (not) to 10 (very).
Depends on who you ask. According to me, I’m perfectly normal. According to others… well, weird is in the eye of the beholder! (See answers above involving Tolkien and Dr Who)

Where can people find out more about you and your debut book- Rules Are For Breaking?

Penguin’s Destiny Romance site: http://www.destinyromance.com/

Out October 2012, you can buy from: http://www.destinyromance.com/products/9781742538020/rules-are-breaking

My blog: http://imeldaevans.wordpress.com/ or Penguin http://www.penguin.com.au/contributors/7027/imelda-evans

About… Rules Are For Breaking

Rules are for Breaking is a contemporary romance about two pigheaded people who have to learn that they can’t run their love-lives the way they run their businesses if they want a happy ending.

Jo is a smart and determined young woman with a clear-eyed view of men and what she expects of them. Put simply, she is ‘over’ finding the right one. She already  has a ‘three strikes and you’re out’ policy. When challenged by a friend who thinks she can’t do it, Jo goes one step further and vows not to date, sleep with or even kiss a man for six weeks. Enter Declan, Jo’s gorgeous yet unwelcome houseguest.  Convinced he can win her over, Declan views Jo and her vow as an irresistible challenge. An infuriated Jo declares that Declan is like all the others – attracted to her for all the wrong reasons. She insists that he devote time to getting to know the real her and to doing the things she loves.  Will Declan survive the test? Or will a major misunderstanding spoil everything?  Rules Are For Breaking is a witty, entertaining romance certain to have even the most disenchanted believing in love again.

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Author Harvest is just getting started. There’s plenty more in store with a spring, summer, autumn and winter harvest.