Author: Jenn J McLeod

To read or not to read – that is the ultimate writer conundrum.
You see, I’ve been told I’ll never be a great writer if I am not a great reader.
For me, however, reading novels when what I really want to be doing is writing them tends to play with my head.

People say this writing/publishing game is a rollercoaster. Well, rollercoaster it may be for those already on the ride, but for me, still waiting in the ticket queue, it’s more like a swing. I find that when I do read novels my mind swings between – “I can write better than that” and “I’ll never be as good as that.” One makes me want to attack that keyboard with gusto, the other makes me want to attack it with a baseball bat.

So, to read or not to read – that is the question.

A Fractured Fairy Tale
PINOCCHIO – when size matters

Once upon a time in far, far away Downtownland, a man named Pinocchio lived…
a contented little life,
in a tiny room,
in small house,
in a short street.

The only big thing about Pinocchio was his nose, which grew bigger and stronger with every lie. As a boy he’d been very proud of his nose, but lately it had stopped growing, no matter how many lies he told.

Desperate to see his nose gain its youthful vigour, he tried everything – including unsuccessful stints as both a used car salesman and a politician. But no matter how much he tried to lie, he just couldn’t get the limp-looking appendage up and pointing in the right direction.

His father was so disappointed for his son.
He said, “Son, I’m so disappointed for you.”
But Giuseppe had an idea. He took his son
in a big car,
on a long drive,
into the huge city
and a tall building.

Inside he met a short, podgy, kinda squidgy, sooky looking man who introduced himself as Kyle.
Kyle said, “So let me get this straight. You want to see if Pinocchio can lie so his nose will grow long and hard again?”
Giuseppe nodded.
“No problemo, I’ll just set up the lie detector while I’m waiting for my partner.” He sat Pinocchio down, strapped him in and wired him up.
Pinocchio was so scared his heart pounded (no it didn’t – he doesn’t have a heart, he’s made of wood). Pinocchio’s timbers trembled (that’s better) and he swallowed back the knot in his throat.

“The lie detector is ready.” Kyle announced. “We’ll soon know if Pinocchio is able to lie.”
Just then, Kyle’s partner entered the room. She was the most beautiful woman Pinocchio had ever seen and he soon felt the familiar tingle of his nose growing long and hard.
Kyle laughed and said to Giuseppe, “Not sure we need the lie detector therapy after all.”
“Kyle, I think we should call it quits right here,” the woman said. “Oh Pinocchio, I think I know what to do about this problem.”
“Oh, Jackie O,” said a happy, hard Pinocchio. “I nose you do.”

And they all lived happily ever after.

THE END

© Jenn J McLeod – 2009 RWA Clayton’s Conference entry