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A sad and angry sea – and we grieve

A sad end to a shocking few days. I had no idea when I took this photo of the seaweed this morning what the ocean had washed onto the shore. Normally J and I enjoy our morning beach walks. We usually pick up rubbish or find treasures, like this little heart pebble (we found a day after the little dude dog when to heaven), the shells, and the Port Jackson shark egg.

But for the last few days our walks have been difficult.

A young man, a regular at Corindi van park and a passionate rock fisherman, went missing the other day. He didn’t return from his late night fishing excursion. There have been helicopters circling and family members walking up and down the beach, some just staring out to sea.

Last night J and I had to cut our beachcombing short after finding a t-shirt washed up in the seaweed (another lady found black track pants on the beach). We tried walking again this morning, and as much as I told myself it was okay, I had a very strange feeling wash over me. I told J I didn’t want to walk any further because I wasn’t enjoying the walk. All we were doing was scanning the sand for I don’t know what. So we turned off the beach rather than walking to our usual turn around spot – at the rocky point.

We were both shocked and saddened when, at lunchtime, the 26 year old’s brother discovered a body in the weed — at the rocky point — and I think it’s right that it was family.

Corindi beach is such a small, tight-knit community, and having stayed here for many months in our caravan, we feel very much apart of the place. It’s so hard to believe that something as beautiful as the beach and all the treasures it washes up can be so deadly.

The the beach will continue to give and take, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to walk it the same way again.

Michael leaves behind a distraught fiancée and family and our thoughts are with them.

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Author, Nicki Edwards, writes a letter to her 21 y.o. self

Dear Nicki,

Here you are, twenty-one years old today. Happy Birthday. In the next few hours you’ll accept a very unromantic marriage proposal but you’ll know you’ve made the right decision to say yes to this man. Although things will get tough at times, you’ll hang in there because you’ve met a very special man who ‘gets’ you.

You’ve had a busy life already – living overseas in Canada and the UK – and although you imagine you’ll do lots more travel over the next few years, you won’t. You’ll realise that family comes first.

You’ll have four kids in quick succession (less than two years apart) and love them more than you ever thought was possible. They will be your greatest achievement and success. But it won’t be easy, I’m sorry. You’ll be either pregnant or breastfeeding for most of the 1990’s and sleep deprivation and toddler tantrums will be your world. Take photos because the memories will fade too quickly.

At times you’ll feel like you’re the worst mother in the world – that mother – the one other mothers look down on, but it’s NOT TRUE. Don’t believe the lies your tired brain makes up. You are a very good mother. Want to know how I know that? Ask your kids. Jeremy, Chloe, Zachary and Toby, now 21, 19, 17 and 15. They will stir you and tease you and joke about your idiosyncrasies but they love you for who you are. You will never serve on the school canteen roster, you will forget to attend parent teacher interviews, you will fall asleep in the car watching your sons play football, but when it counts, you’ll be there and they know it. Your only prayer was for happy, healthy, well adjusted kids and you’ve got that. Your eldest turned twenty-one you remembered your own twenty-first party like it was yesterday. By the way, what were you thinking with that perm and that dress??

You’ll be tired for most of your 20’s and 30’s, but you’ll flourish during those stay at home mum years. You’ll pastor a church alongside your husband, preach and sing before hundreds, meet some amazing people and discover your gifting isn’t pastoral care! You will, however, have the opportunity to pursue your dream to become a nurse. And you’ll be a very good one. You’ll find your ‘fit’ and become a passionate advocate for the nursing profession.

You’ll work hard, you’ll be passionate, enthusiastic and energetic and people will constantly ask you how you fit everything in. The answer is easy. It’s because you have mastered the art of boundaries and learned how to say ‘no’. Congratulations. Not many people learn how to do that. But remember, sometimes it’s okay to say ‘yes’. Slowing down, sitting down and catching up with someone for a coffee isn’t always a waste of time. By the way, you should have learned to drink coffee and tea when you were younger because it’s antisocial just drinking water when you go out.

You’ll move houses more often than you expect and you’ll continue to love making new places ‘home’ for you and your family. Your Great Australian Dream of owning your own house will come and go multiple times so hold that loosely in your fingers and don’t get caught up in the belief that owning a house and ‘stuff’ is everything. It’s not.

If I could offer you some advice though, I’d encourage you to get your finances sorted so you don’t live pay to pay because one day that pay won’t be there and you’ll have your most difficult season yet while you’re studying fulltime and your husband isn’t working. That owning your own house thing? That’s why I said you need to hold it loose and not get worried when it’s not yours any more.

You’ll make friendships that will come and go – that saying about people coming into your life for a reason and a season is very relevant. You’ll maintain strong relationships with the friends you’ve had since your early twenties. Cherish them. Those friends will be there when things are at their lowest.

You’ll struggle with your weight and I wish you wouldn’t. Again, you’ll get caught up in comparisons. Stop it. You’ll realise being skinny doesn’t make you happy. You’ll lose weight, gain it, lose it, gain it again. Just embrace your curves. Be happy and healthy. Waking up every morning obsessed with what you’re not going to eat and how many kilometres you’re going to run to burn off calories is not the way to live. You will try it once and although you will look amazing, it won’t be sustainable.

Most of all, Nicki, you’ll dream big dreams and you’ll chase them. You’ll have a motto that’s very true. “Those who say it can’t be done shouldn’t interrupt the person doing it.” Keep doing it Nicki, whatever ‘it’ is.

Signed,

Your 46 year old self.
PepProject_Final-900x1200

Nicki-Edwards_ ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Nicki Edwards is a city girl with a country heart. Growing up on a small family acreage, she spent her formative years riding horses and pretending the neighbour’s farm was her own. Nicki writes medical rural romance for Momentum and when she isn’t reading, writing or dreaming about rural life and medical emergencies, she can be found working as a Critical Care Nurse in a busy Intensive Care Unit, where many of her stories and characters are imagined.

Nicki lives in Geelong, Victoria with her husband and their four teenage/young adult children. Life is busy, fun and at times exhausting, but Nicki wouldn’t change it for anything. Visit her at nickiedwards.com.au.

BUY LINK: Amazon Australia

Thank you, Nic, and readers for dropping by.

Wanting to honour the lost art of letter writing through this blog series, I also opened my fourth novel with a character writing a letter. And not just any letter. It’s a story — perhaps the most important he’ll ever tell.

The Other Side of the SeasonReady for a sea change

Life is simple on top of the mountain for David, Matthew and Tilly until the winter of 1979 when tragedy strikes, starting a chain reaction that will ruin lives for years to come. Those who can, escape the Greenhill banana plantation on the outskirts of Coffs Harbour. One stays—trapped for the next thirty years on the mountain and haunted by memories and lost dreams. That is until the arrival of a curious young woman, named Sidney, whose love of family shows everyone the truth can heal, what’s wrong can be righted, the lost can be found, and . . . there’s another side to every story.

BUY now from Amazon, Kobo, iTunes, or

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Author, Monique Mulligan, writes a letter to her younger self

 

Dear Monique,

Wow, you’re 18 today. That means you can do all the things your mum said you had to wait for, like dating (bet you didn’t think she meant it when she said “18 and no earlier”), going out with your friends and finding your independence.

You’ve been a late bloomer – and your mum is right, you are too skinny – but after years of hating your hair and bemoaning your lack of curves, things are about to change. Well, the hair will – trust me, in a couple of years people will tell you how much they love your long, spiral-permed locks. The curves, on the other hand, won’t happen overnight, but they will happen.

You’ve left school behind, worked as a ride operator at a theme park over summer, and now you’re about to start university. A whole new world will open up for you. You’re going to meet people from all sorts of backgrounds. You’ll make two lifelong friends. New opportunities, dreams and possibilities will come your way. And you’re going to ask: “Do I really want to be a journalist?”. Yes, you will question the career you always thought you wanted. The choice you make will set your course for many years.

Monique, you’re a perfectionist. You may as well admit it. So, I am going to break it to you gently: you will make mistakes. You can’t please everyone. You will always try to do the right thing, but sometimes your youthful ego, innocence, inexperience, expectations and desire for peace and harmony (and stubbornness) will mean what you thought was right, really wasn’t quite right. But you are a student of life and you do learn from mistakes, so you will be okay.

And while I’ll stop short from calling you a control freak (even if you are a neat freak), your desire for harmony does mean you want to fix things so everyone is happy, even at your own expense. You’ve got to stop doing that! Trust me, you’re going to take on everyone else’s responsibilities until you are emotionally and physically exhausted. Don’t laugh. It’s true. And it will lead to even more changes. This is probably the hardest lesson you will learn in your life.

I’m not going to give you spoilers, just few tips to make things smoother.

Hold on to your dreams: Right now, you’re bursting with ideas about travel, from living and working in London, to working on a summer camp in the US, and even living in Germany to make use of six years’ German at school. You will travel, but not in the way you think. Okay, that was a spoiler, but the point is, do not give up on that dream because it will come true eventually.

Write: You were born to be a writer, just as your English teacher said. Trust yourself. Believe in yourself and tell Self Doubt to take a walk in someone else’s park. Make friends with other writers. Don’t waste precious time hiding your stories in drawers or waiting for the right time. Make that time.

Give yourself a break: You’re so hard on yourself. Stop dancing to the tunes of “Not Pretty Enough” and “Don’t Let Me Get Me” and start rocking to “F***ing Perfect” and “Try”. On second thoughts, those songs aren’t out yet, but listen out for them. The point is, stop trying to be perfect, to be everything for everyone. It’ll be easier.

Love yourself: This follows on from the previous point, but one day, you will be asked: “What do you love about you?” And you will cry because you won’t know how to answer. Let me make it easy for you. There’s a lot to love about you, from your kindness, to your openness, from your silliness to your determination. That’s the start. Ultimately, if you love yourself, you can love those around you even better.

Hold on to the little girl inside: When responsibilities overwhelm and challenges melt, don’t lose sight of little Monique. It’s okay to make up weird poems and songs in the car, to sing “Do Re Mi” at the top of your voice when you’re cooking, to tell completely offbeat stories that make no sense but are fun, and to giggle uncontrollably at times. You don’t have to be grown up all the time.

And lastly, quit worrying about what others think. Learn to be happy with yourself. Expect others to love you as you are.

Love,

Your 44-year-old self.

Monique Mulligan The Point of Love

 

Monique MulliganABOUT THE AUTHOR:

A former newspaper editor, journalist, children’s curriculum writer and magazine editor, Monique Mulligan is the author of The Point of Love and My Silly Mum, and is working on a full-length contemporary novel and a romance novella. She also reviews books on her blog, Write Note Reviews, and hosts a successful Stories on Stage programme.

Monique’s website is www.moniquemulligan.com |  Twitter: @writenote1  | Facebook

Buy The Point of Love: Amazon   Serenity Press

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 Now, did you know…?

My fourth novel opens with a character writing a letter, which is what prompted this blog series. And not just any letter. It’s a story –perhaps the most important he’ll ever tell.

The Other Side of the Season

Everything has a reflection…

And there’s another side to every story.

Ready for a sea changeLife is simple on top of the mountain for David, Matthew and Tilly until the winter of 1979 when tragedy strikes, starting a chain reaction that will ruin lives for years to come. Those who can, escape the Greenhill banana plantation on the outskirts of Coffs Harbour. One stays—trapped for the next thirty years on the mountain and haunted by memories and lost dreams. That is until the arrival of a curious young woman, named Sidney, whose love of family shows everyone the truth can heal, what’s wrong can be righted, the lost can be found, and…

. . . there’s another side to every story.

Available from all bookshops and Amazon, Kobo, iTunes, or

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