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Author Harvest ‘bales up’ Lisa Walker for some Sex, Lies and Bonsai

Author HarvestA quick trip from my place (up the east coast highway) and I found the lovely Lisa Walker, author of two wonderful, witty reads.

Lisa, my Author Harvest tradition requires you start by telling me if it’s scones and tea or some other homemade delight you have whipped up for me today.


Soy chai and a banana – that’s the way we roll here on the north coast.

(Very appeeling!)

 

Lisa, at home…

My mum says garden gnomes make a house a home! Are you loud and proud in your love of garden gnomes at home, a closet gnomer or with a strict ‘no gnomes’ policy at your place?

Strictly indoor gnomes here, I have seven Japanese gnomes on my desk.

What vegetable (or fruit) have you always wanted to grow at home?

I have the opposite of green fingers but dream of growing basil. Sadly, my love affair with basil is unrequited – as soon as I plant it, it dies.

(I am philosophical about my basil battle. I do my best Kung Fu stance and say, ‘Ahhhh, Grasshopper…bon appetit!)

If I came to your home and looked in the refrigerator, what would I find?

Defrosting marinara mix which my husband will do something fabulous with I hope (because calamari and I don’t get on at all) and a lifetime’s supply of pre-made garlic bread which fills a hole in my two enormous sons.

(You mean feed their creative streak!  (Anyone who hasn’t seen the trailer Lisa’s very clever son put together, you are missing a treat. I love that trailer. See her website detail below)

If you sorted your wardrobe by colour, what colour would stand out? (Ahh, do you sort your wardrobe by colour?!)

Blue polka dots are breaking out all over the place at the moment.

(Funny, I was certain you would say yellow stripes!)

What are you wearing now? (Be honest!)

I’m naked (as per question one, that’s the way we roll…)

(I was meaning to talk to you about that…!)

Whose home would you like to housesit and why?

Nanook of the north – I am trying to work an igloo sex scene into my next book though the clothing layers are proving challenging (unlike here on the north coast…)

(Umm, Lisa, my dear, another Author Harvest tradition is that the guests answer the question only. They do not add the witty bits–okay? (‘Cause that’s how WE roll in the not quite so north coast!)

Country curiosities…

We love a sunburnt country (slip, slop, slap and all that). What’s your ideal hat? Roaring 20s 2011Or are you a boots person?

Hats!! I love them and have way too many, but am still on the lookout for the hat of my dreams – I’m thinking 1920s cloche.

(Ooh, ooh, here I am in my DIY cloche from the 2011 RWA cocktail party. Wow! Never thought I’d have the opportunity to use THAT pic again! You are back in the good books.)

If you were a tree (or animal) what kind of tree (animal) would you be?

Dolphin (as per question one)

Now for the big question… Why did the chicken cross the road?

There was a hat shop on the other side and it thought, this time…

(Is that a dig at the old chook above in the cloche hat?)

About you…

Your turning point: when was that point in your life that you realized that being an
author was no longer going to be just a dream but a reality and a career?

After many, many years of trying to get published, my long-awaited book contract mysteriously morphed from a one-book to a two-book deal. It was a total surprise and I signed it quickly before they realised there’d been a mistake!

(LOL – I know that feeling!)

What is the hardest part of writing for you?

Writing the first draft is a time of incredible self-doubt. Just because I’ve written a novel once, doesn’t mean that I know how to do it again. Alas!

(But you did!)

If someone was to write your biography, what do you think the title should be?

Is it Just Me?

(Another version might be…. Is it just me or is there a draught in here?
Can I pass you a nice little polka dot number from your wardprobe, perhaps? You got me so flustered I also spelled draught wrong!)

What question have you always wanted to be asked in an interview? How would you answer that question?

Q: How did you get to be such an amazingly insightful and funny writer while still being so impeccably groomed and talented in the kitchen?

A: The cheque’s in the mail.

Fun stuff …

What does your protagonist think about you? Would he or she want to hang out with you, the author, his/her creator?

I think she would probably want me to put some clothes on, (we both do actually. It is a little chilly for so far north by the looks!)  but after that we could settle down, play monopoly, chat about Japanese literature (or Japanese gnomes) and invent some ridiculous euphemisms to use in our erotic writing.

(Errr…erotic? Your book … it’s about bonsai. It’s a gardening guide, right?)

If you could trade places with any other person for a week, famous or not famous, living or dead, real or fictional, with whom would it be?

I like the way you say ‘with whom’ Jenn, I think I’d better go back and check my grammar.

(Well, here we go again with the DIY witty comments, again. Sheesh!)

If I said to you, “Just entertain me for five minutes, I’m not going to talk,” what would you do?

(Please, whatever it is, can it involve clothes?)

If only you’d given me a bit more notice, I would have learnt some card tricks.

What food would you be?

Creamy Tuna Pasta – there’s a very sexy recipe on page 272 of ‘Sex, Lies and Bonsai’.

(Oooooh, so it’s a recipe book. Phew!)

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Cloche hats. Definitely.

Name 5 uses for a stapler that has not staple pins.

That’s a great question – in my house we have at least five staplers with no stapler pins which are performing no useful function at the moment. I now feel inspired to take them out and use them as : paper weights, cockroach whackers, objets de art, percussion instruments and mobiles.

How weird are you? Rate yourself on a scale of 1 (not) to 10 (very).

1 (it’s just everyone else who’s out of step)

What fun! Thanks Lisa. Seriously, folks, the lovely Lisa Walker is a funny lady. Check out her books:

Here is the blurb for Sex, Lies and Bonsai.

Have you ever felt the need to start again?

Dumped by text message, Edie flees Sydney for the refuge of her childhood home, taking only a wilting bonsai to remind her of her failure. But in this small coastal town, shy, awkward Edie has always lived in the shadow of her surf champion father. How can she move on from her ex and from her past?

Her best friend and life-coach, Sally, is full of dubious advice, but Edie finds there are many ways to mess things up all by herself.  A new-found talent for erotic writing, a job-drawing crab larvae, unrequited lust for a professor with hidden depths and a maddening musician with troubles of his own add to her bulging swag of problems. And then things get complicated…

A tender and witty tale about finding your voice, falling in love and… crab sex.

Connect, buy, etc

Website: www.lisawalker.com.au
Blog: http://lisawalkerwriter.wordpress.com/
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/lisawalkerhome
Twitter: @lisawalkertweet
Buy on booktopia
Buy on amazon

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See the bumper crop of harvested authors – HERE.

There’s plenty more in store with, summer, autumn and winter harvest.

Thank you for dropping by.

 

Posted on 25 Comments

Author Harvest ‘bales up’ Rachael Johns (with giveaway!)

Author Harvest

photoRachael, both Jilted and Man Drought have such intriguing first chapters, making them impossible to put down. So intrigue me now. Describe the special treat you’ve whipped up for me today.

If I knew you were going to come round, I would TRY to whip you up something fabulous but alas, I seem to have lost my ability to cook, so you’d probably end up with a plate of Choc Mint Slice biccies (Arnotts) – they are my fave!
(Truth is, you could do a fictional spread and I’d be happy, because what you’d make up, just like your books, would be more than satisfying. Awww!)

At home with …

My mum says garden gnomes make a house a home! Are you loud and proud in your love of garden gnomes at home – or a closet gnomer?

I am a HUGE fan of garden gnomes. My granny always had some in her garden and so when I got my own garden (I use the term loosely), I of course bought a few gnomes of my own. All these gnomes were having a perfectly fine life until my son came along a few years later and at about two became obsessed with them. The collection grew quickly because we bought him a cheap gnome whenever we saw one. Unfortunately he insisted on carrying at least one (sometimes two) gnomes around with him wherever he went, which often resulted in serious accidents. We had a gnome hospital and graveyard in our life for quite a few years. Sadly, not many gnomes made it past my son’s early years and our garden today is sadly lacking.

(My fave garden gnome is Jamie Drury! Am I allowed to say that?)

What vegetable (or fruit) have you always wanted to grow at home?

Snow peas. We have done so quite a few years and it is so great to be able to pick a few and enjoy whilst in the garden.

(Agreed. I love slicing them very fine-on an angle-and using them as a garnish and in salads.)

If I came to your home and looked in the refrigerator, what would I find?

Too many things past their use-by date and lots of Diet Coke!

You are such a ‘Stand Out Star’ (hehe, couldn’t resist that one!) If you sorted your wardrobe by colour, what colour would stand out?

(Oh wait, let me guess! Umm…pink?)

Pink would be the predominant colour but sadly, I don’t sort ANYTHING!!!

What are you wearing now? (Be honest!)

Comfy black yoga pants and a stripey Bonds tee. Not planning on going out again today, not that I’d necessarily dress up more if I was – lol

If you were to housesit someone else’s home, whose home would it be and why?

My Aunty and Uncle’s holiday house in Queenstown NZ. It’s halfway up a mountain, overlooking the lake and quaint tourist town- I love it!

(That would be ‘One Perfect Night’ then, eh?)

Country curiosities…

We love a sunburnt country (slip, slop, slap and all that). What’s your ideal hat? Or are you a boots person?

I actually really love wearing caps!!! Have done since I was a wee lass. In year seven one of the boys and I had this thing going – both of us always wore caps and we’d always say to each other, “You’re not so good without your cap!”

If you were a tree (or animal) what kind of tree (animal) would you be?

I would like to be a cat! In a good house. I reckon those cat’s have it good. Mine is in bed (mine) like twenty-three hours a day!

Now for the big question… Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because the grass is greener on the other side!?

About you…

Your turning point: when was that point in your life that you realized that being an
author was no longer going to be just a dream but a reality and a career?

When I signed my first contract!!! And then when I got my first REAL deadline – writing a book my publisher had already bought. EEK!! It’s scary on this side of the fence!

What is the hardest part of writing for you?

The last third of the book. It seems to flow until then and I’m quite happy with what I’ve written but when I hit this point, I always start doubting my ability AND the book’s excitability!

If someone was to write your biography, what do you think the title should be?

The Night Woman – cos I have night terrors and this freaks me out a lot. It freaks out my husband too! But at night, I feel almost like I have no control over myself. This sounds scary and it is, but it would make an interesting book.

What question have you always wanted to be asked in an interview? How would you answer that question?

Can’t think of anything. See I’m really very boring!

Fun stuff …

What does your protagonist think about you? Would he or she want to hang out with you, the author, his/her creator.

My protagonists love me cos I give them life!!! Although sometimes they want
to throttle me because of the things I throw at them, but they are all very
forgiving.

If you could trade places with any other person for a week, famous or not famous, living or dead, real or fictional, with whom would it be?

Kate Middleton – hehehe, have always had a thing for Prince Will!

(Well, right now you’d have to have a thing for morning sickness! Poor girl.)

If I said to you, “Just entertain me for five minutes, I’m not going to talk,” what would you do?

Log you onto Facebook!

(Well, at least you won’t leave me ‘Jilted’!)

What food would you be?

Red velvet chocolate cake with cream cheese icing!

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Books

How weird are you? Rate yourself on a scale of 1 (not) to 10 (very).

5

(You are so NOT average, Rach.)

Find out more about Rachael and her books below.

And, in case I haven’t plugged Rachael’s books enough, we are giving away a copy of Man Drought!
Leave a comment, telling us what you do that freaks out your partner/kids/parents/etc.

And… If you enjoyed this interview, there are loads to come over the summer, autumn and winter harvests. While you’re here, why not do as Rach does and subscribe to my blog so I can deliver blog excerpts straight to your INbox.
(See SUBSCRIBE option – top right of this page)

The winning comment will be announced here one week following this blog post.
Until then, post away.

Giveaway closed: The winner of Man Drought is Lily Malone. (Winner chosen by independent reader (aka house guest) and decision based on … and  I quote… “how desperately she sounds like she want the book.”  I had to agree!

Thank you everyone for dropping by.

Blogwww.rachaeljohns.wordpress.com

Websitewww.rachaeljohns.com

Twitterhttps://twitter.com/RachaelJohns

Facebookhttps://www.facebook.com/pages/Rachael-Johns/260103224001776

 

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Author Harvest ‘bales up’ Loretta Hill

Hi Loretta, let’s start by telling me if it’s scones and tea or some other homemade delight you have whipped up for me today!!!!! 🙂
As you can see, three of my kids are running around like blue arsed flies and the baby has been screaming all morning, so I haven’t had time to bake. Actually, I haven’t had time for breakfast yet. Feel like a bowl of cereal with me?

(Hmmm, feeling a little Fruit Loopy, actually.)

At home… 
My mum says garden gnomes make a house a home! Are you loud and proud in your love of garden gnomes at home, a closet gnomer or with a strict ‘no gnomes’ policy at your place?
I have no gnomes. Actually, the thought of getting some has never occurred to me. To be honest they kind of creep me out. I have no idea why. Maybe I’ve seen too many horror movies where inanimate objects come to life. An evil dwarf running around with a shovel scares the hell out of me!

(Hmm, okay, did NOT need that image! *cue scary music*)

What vegetable (or fruit) have you always wanted to grow at home?
Hmmm… well I love avocados. I would love to have them on tap in my garden but I’ve heard they’re pretty hard to grow. As I’m definitely an amateur gardener I think I would be wiser to practice with something that doesn’t take as much watering or maintenance – like a cactus.

(Avocados are easy. You need a male and a female and … voila! A happy ever after! You’re good at those :))

If I came to your home and looked in the refrigerator, what would I find?
First of all, please don’t! My fridge needs a clean out. It’s a jungle in there. My family tends to show love through food. And for some reason, can’t think what, they all think I’m struggling with the kids and everything. So whenever someone comes to visit which is almost daily – (I have three sisters and a mum who lives just up the road) they bring something. You’ll find currently in my fridge… half a mud cake, half a casserole, half a pot of curry, a tub of fried noodles, a lunch box of tuna fish sandwiches, a take away container of chilli con carne and the list goes on…

(And I’m getting cereal?! Crack open that mud cake, Loretta! Sheesh!)

If you sorted your wardrobe by colour, what colour would stand out? (Ahh, do you sort your wardrobe by colour?!)
I tend to have a lot of natural shades. Ie. brown, beiges, whites, blacks, oranges and reds. But half my clothes don’t fit me at the moment. I’m sort of still trying to lose my pregnancy weight. I say, “still trying” because despite my rock hard willpower (kidding) it’s kind of hard getting on the exercise bike with one baby on the hip and another trying to cut it’s fingers off in the spokes of the wheels.

(Ouch!)

What are you wearing now? (Be honest!)
Pyjamas. When I said I hadn’t had breakfast yet, I probably should have mentioned I wasn’t dressed either. You don’t mind do you?

(No, but if you coud take the child currently sticking those same fingers in my Fruit loops…!)

Whose home would you like to housesit and why?
That’s a hard one. There isn’t a particular type of home that I want, unless you’re talking hillside mansion overlooking the beach with it’s own cleaning and cooking staff. Honestly, my sights really aren’t set that high. I’d just be satisfied with a house that had no toys in it. Not a single teddy bear, car, gun or push button singing machine that is supposed to teach your kids the alphabet but really just drives you insane. I think if I could just have a space, just for one day without a single laugh from the cookie monster, that would really clear my head space, which is a little cluttered. Can you tell?

(Gun? Maybe let the kid have the Fruit Loops!)

Country curiosities…

We love a sunburnt country (slip, slop, slap and all that). What’s your ideal hat? Or are you a boots person?
Well, last year I was a boots person 😉 But this year obviously it’s hats. A “Hard Hat” of course. Yes, this is going to turn into a shameless plug for my new book, out this month : The Girl in the Hard Hat. It’s about a woman called Wendy who comes to town to find the father who abandoned her at birth but gets a lot more then she bargained for. To be precise: Three hundred fifty men with an attitude problem and a bad boy called Gavin who won’t leave her alone. It’s packed with all the fun it’s predecessor, “The Girl in Steel-Capped Boots” had : lots of laughs and of course, a delicious spine tingling romance.
By the way, you can attach broad brims to hard hats if you’re out in the sun a lot. My heroine Wendy is not big on that though, she’s too busy worrying about cyclones rather than sun stroke.

(I have a book coming out in a month. Of course I love a shamless plug, Loretta, and that question was just for you!)

If you were a tree (or animal) what kind of tree (animal) would you be?
I’d be a bird. I’d love to fly.

Now for the big question… Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the hot rooster on the other side winked at her.

(See? Happy ever after – as long as that wasn’t one of those monster mine truck that just … Uh-oh! 🙁 )

About you…

Your turning point: I remember my turning point with House for all Seasons (See? Shameless plug!) When was that point in your life that you realized that being an author was no longer going to be just a dream but a reality and a career?
I guess when my first book got accepted for publication. I realised that in achieving my goal, one journey had just finished and now I was beginning a new one. Getting published is definitely only chapter one in a career as a writer.

What is the hardest part of writing for you?
Starting a new book. I think it’s because I lack confidence in the story. When you first start you always think, “this is just rubbish” and you have to keep reminding yourself “Of course it’s rubbish. It’s the first draft.” And just push past that barrier till you start to get more comfortable with your new world.

If someone was to write your biography, what do you think the title should be?
Madness, Multi-tasking and Motherhood.

(Working title: Fruit Loopy and Fabulous ;))

What question have you always wanted to be asked in an interview? How would you answer that question?
My fantasy question would be: “Would you like nanny?”

My fantasy answer would be. “Yes, please. When can she start?”

(She? Come on, Loretta, this is fiction. Go the manny!)

Now… About “The Girl in the Hard Hat”

To tame a bad boy you will need:
a. One hard hat
b. Three hundred and fifty sulky FIFO workers
c. A tropical cyclone

Wendy Hopkins arrives in Wickham to search for the father who abandoned her at birth.
 She never expected to get mixed up in construction site politics at the Iron Ore wharf just out of town. But when she takes a job as their new Safety Manager she becomes the most hated person in the area. Nicknamed, “The Sergeant,” she is the butt of every joke and the prime target of notorious womanizer, Gavin Jones.
However, to solve the mystery of her past, she must persevere. Only she can save these workers from the coming storm, find a man who wants to stay buried and …put a bad boy firmly in his place.

Find out more about Loretta and her charming stories: www.lorettahill.com.au

Thank you Loretta and thank you readers.

If you enjoyed this (or if you want to know about my March 1 online launch fun – right here – subscribe to my blog and I will let you know what, when, where.