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Author Bar Yarns w/ Fiona Palmer

Fiona PalmerLook who I’ve RECRUITED!

Fiona Palmer has proven she’s a most versatile author with her first young adult novel quite a change from her highly-acclaimed rural romances, but from early reviews just as fabulous.

First, Fee, here is a beer coaster! Take a minute to jot down the blurb for your new book – The Recruit.

Jasmine Thomas is your normal seventeen-year-old girl. She dislikes the rich mean kids at her school but loves her two best friends, computer savvy Anna and popular, gorgeous Taylor. Her spare time is spent at The Ring, a boxing gym where she practically grew up learning karate, boxing and street fighting. So, yeah, she can kick some major butt.

Life seems pretty normal until Ryan Fletcher enters her gym. Mysterious, hot and plenty of bad boy charm. But she is not prepared for what she finds out about him and before too long she’s drawn into his adult world of secrets and lies. Just how far is she willing to go? And could this be the life fulfilling path she’d dreamed of?

(This is the first in the MTG Agencies series.)

Okay, well, don’t hold back. Come on in. Grab a pw. What can I get you to go The Recruit by Fiona Palmerwith your beer nuts? (Shandy? Wine Spritzer? Pink Lemonade?)

A bourbon and coke would be lovely thanks Jenn. Or a Lemon, Lime and Bitters if its before midday lol.

Hey, did you hear the one about … Tell us a joke (preferably one that comes with a punch line you actually remember!)

What is the difference between snot and broccoli….kids don’t eat broccoli. And oldie, one we always told as kids.

I’m a beer nut nut! What bar snack would you be and why?

I love those BBQ noodles you get in the mix with nuts. Love the crunch.

Ahh, that beer hit the spot. Let me slip a drink coaster under your glass while you tell us—on a scale of 1 to 10—as a writer are you a messy desker or tidy desker? (NB: 1 = “I am a neat nut case” and 10 = “What desk? Where? Is there a desk here somewhere?”) 

It’s around a four to five, I reckon. While sometimes when I’m writing it can go right up to an 8.

The publican offers you free drinks all night if you will:

  • Dance to Gangnam Style
  • Sing John Denver’s ‘Take me Home Country Roads’ on the Karaoke machine
  • Spend an hour washing dishes

Which do you choose?

Dishes for sure. Something I know I can do well lol

Time to liven the place up. Got a buck? We can crank up the old jukebox in the corner. You get to pick three songs.

  1. Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen
  2. In a pub, you must have some Jimmy Barnes!
  3. And if we were going to do some dancing, a boppy Katy Perry song.

An author, an agent and a chicken walk into the bar… how do you know which one crossed the road?

This is like one of those maths questions or a really bad joke, neither which I’m good at.

There’s a stapler on the bar. Tell me what it’s doing there.

Cracking nuts. (Maybe the barman lost his nut cracker??)

The pub is the heart of a small town and most locals would be lost without one. What are three things you’d be lost without?

  1. My family!
  2. My fur family.
  3. My car.

There are a few good prizes up for grabs in the bar jackpot. Do you have a lucky number?

73. It was my granddads racing number; my dad’s and also mine. I like to think its lucky.

Then I hope we can expect 73 great stories from you! Thank you for dropping by Calingarry Crossing pub, Fiona and congratulations on your continuing success.

Connect with Fiona Palmer and check out the trailer on her website and buy her book using these links:

https://itunes.apple.com/au/book/the-recruit/id852047890?mt=11

http://www.booktopia.com.au/ebooks/the-recruit-fiona-palmer/prod9780857991577.html

http://www.amazon.com.au/The-Recruit-Fiona-Palmer-ebook/dp/B00JD7EYTO

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Bar Yarns with Joanne van Os

This is pretty exciting.

The bar gets some amazing authors dropping by, and today’s country pub dweller is Joanne van Os (and something tells me Joanne is quite comfy in a country pub!)

Joanne van Os is an Australian writer living in Darwin, Northern Territory. She is the author of best-selling memoir Outback Heart, the story of her life with the “Real Crocodile Dundee” Rod Ansell, their adventures living in the remote parts of the Territory, and his subsequent spiral into tragedy.

Find out more about Joanne’s amazing story and her books: www.joannevanos.com

Welcome to Calingarry Crossing, Jo. First, here is a beer coaster! Take a minute to jot down the blurb for your book – Ronan’s Echo.

“The legacy of love and war ripples across time…”

In 1916 twin brothers Denny and Connor Ronan are eager to get to the war before it’s all over; Bridie O’Malley, their childhood friend and the woman they both love, watches them leave, understanding too late that war is about more than heroes and handsome boys in uniform.

Nearly a century on from the disastrous battle of Fromelles, forensic anthropologist Kat Kelso, Bridie’s great granddaughter, is in France identifying the recovered bodies of lost Australian soldiers. The discovery of her own relative amongst the dead men begins the unravelling of a hundred years of family history, lies and secrets.

Grab a pew. What can I get you to go with your beer nuts? (Shandy? Wine Spritzer? Pink Lemonade?)

A cold pinot noir would be lovely

Hey, did you hear the one about … Tell us a joke (preferably one that comes with a punch line you actually remember!)

A man goes skydiving. After a fantastic free fall he pulls the rip-cord to open his parachute but nothing happens. He tries everything but can’t get it open.

Just then another man flies by him, going UP. The skydiver yells, “Hey, you know anything about parachutes?” The man replies, “No, you know anything about gas stoves?”

 I’m a beer nut nut! What bar snack would you be and why?

I like the idea of being a trendy tapas, but I’m probably a pretzel…

Ahh, that beer hit the spot. Let me slip a drink coaster under your glass while you tell us—on a scale of 1 to 10—as a writer are you a messy desker or tidy desker? 

My husband would say I’m an 11, but I reckon about a 7. I’m not THAT messy. Will send a photo when I find it – it’s somewhere here on the desk, I’m sure…

The publican offers you free drinks all night if you will:

  • Dance to Gangnam Style
  • Sing John Denver’s ‘Take me Home Country Roads’ on the Karaoke machine
  • Spend an hour washing dishes

Which do you choose?

Are you kidding? Point the way to the sink.

Time to liven the place up. Got a buck? We can crank up the old jukebox in the corner. You get to pick three songs.

  1. Led Zeppelin “Whole Lotta Love”
  2. Rolling Stones “Dancing in the Street”
  3. ABBA “Dancing Queen”

An author, an agent and a chicken walk into the bar… how do you know which one crossed the road?

The agent and the chicken – the author would still be wondering about motive

There’s a stapler on the bar. Tell me what it’s doing there.

Someone’s planning the perfect murder. The stapler is integral to the plot.

The pub is the heart of a small town and most locals would be lost without one. What are three things you’d be lost without?

  1. My laptop
  2. My reading glasses
  3. Good coffee

There are a few good prizes up for grabs in the bar jackpot. Do you have a lucky number?

Do I have to have one? Ok, 7

Last drinks, my friend! It’s been great having you here. But before we go, tell us how we can find out more about you and your writing/books.

Simple: www.joannevanos.com

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School Daze – your favourite authors

Playgrounds, pencils and Perkins Paste remain a hazy, crazy, daze for many of us. In Calingarry Crossing this storm season, a school reunion brings home more than memories for publican, Maggie Lindeman, so I’ve decided to ask a few authors to reflect on their own    school daze.

What do you think about school reunions! Love them? Hate them? Do you agree with Maggie (Simmering Season) that such events push you to question everything — your worth, your achievements … your life.

To celebrate the release of Simmering Season, I’m holding a school reunion and you’re invited to catch up with your favourite authors, or find a new favourite author. If you have an Aussie author you’d like me to feature, leave a comment and I’ll see what I can do.

The school bell is ringing, and first in class we have…

Jennie Jones – THEN

“When I left school I also left my best friend, Jane. We each trod different paths after that but had spent our high school years together; dreaming, dodging, wishing, loving boys and getting giggly over just about anything. Our formative years were filled with sighing, laughing, crying, arguing, wondering and planning.  We’re still in touch, after thirty-something years. This special school friendship we share is what I call a seasoned memory.”

NOW: www.jenniejonesromance.com

Sara Foster at school
Sara Foster – THEN

‘Throughout my primary school days we used to play elastics at every opportunity, coming up with more and more imaginative ways of jumping on and over two strips of elastic, which were either wound around people’s legs or tied to drainpipes and chairs. At some stage I’m planning to drag my daughters away from technology to show them how it’s done. (Although let’s just hope I can still do it!)’

 

Rachael Johns at School Rachael Johns – THEN

I’m one of the lucky ones. In my first weeks of high school I found my ‘group.’ You know the people who stick by you through thick and thin, who laugh and cry with you, put up with your crazy and embarrassing sometimes outlandish personality, and whom you feel confident sharing your deepest and darkest secrets? These are my girls – there are six of us. Four of us met in year eight, another came in year ten and the final (but just as important) member of our group found us in year eleven. We spent our high school years hanging out at school and whenever we could outside of school. We shopped for our all important formal dresses together, we were there to laugh over crushes of boys and support each other when hearts were broken. We had the BEST ever sleepovers – where sleep wasn’t on the agenda at all. We scared each other silly with thriller movies, while we ate junk food and drank Fanta. One sleepover we even rung the local radio station and dedicated songs to our then crushes – whether they have heard them or not, we’ll never know. The song was ‘I Swear’ if you were wondering.
Although we now are all married with kids, we are still as close as ever. Maybe closer. We’ve been through joyous times together – weddings and babies – and we’ve been through some tough times too. In many ways we are as different as a bunch of women can get, but we still get together as much as we can. We laugh over old memories and share what’s currently going on in our crazy, hectic lives. Now we even get together on occasions with our kids and there is nothing more amazing than watching my children enjoy spending time with my best friends’ children. I know we’ll be BFFs until the end. Yep, these women are the best thing I got out of high school!

Alison Stuart – THEN

“Unpick it and do it again”… Mrs. Plummer, sewing teacher. But seriously I think I owe my biggest debt of thanks to Miss Robinson who had the misfortune to try and teach a bunch of Year 9 girls English grammar. She was the first teacher who encouraged my creative writing.”

NOW:  www.alisonstuart.com

 

Cathryn Hein – THEN

“I suspect that without Mr Costello as my English teacher I wouldn’t be a writer. He was amazing. He also gave me a B+ for my cringe-worthy short story A Day In The Life Of A Feminist Cockroach. Not quite sure what he was thinking that day…”

 Nicola Moriaty – THEN

I thought it might be fun to quote directly from my diary that I kept all through my schools years, the following extract is from when I was eight years old, I’ve kept the spelling mistakes in!!
“i dont beleav it today mr. Connolly let us talk for a bit! We have this new sports teacher who is mean. But we playd lots of running games. We started school two days ago. We’v done lots of work but Mr. Connolly thinks we’v hardly done any he sais where gonna work our buts off. He already toute us two songs and a poulm. At lunch i got tipped when I was b.a. then everybody said to me that i was in so i said i was b.a. They said there was no b.a. I said i did not know. They said I had to take it. i got mad and cryed. But we made up.”
I think I still remember the injustice of that game of tip! But I also remember Mr Connolly as one of my favourite teachers because he gave me a hug when I cried after getting in trouble for throwing grapes on the school bus.

 

Dawn Barker – THEN

“I had two favourite subjects at school: English and Latin. My reasons for liking English are probably obvious, as even in primary school I was entering competitions reciting Scottish poetry and winning certificates like this! In high school I studied Latin for five years and loved it. Latin opened up the world of literature when I learned the structure and cadence of the language, the mythology, and the poems of Ovid, Cattalus and Virgil. Essential for anyone who wants to understand stories and language, I think!”

 

Fiona Palmer – THEN

“I hated maths and I had some real doozy maths teachers over the years but then Mr Gow came along in Year 11. He was awesome and my favourite. My friend took this class photo, maybe that’s why I was game enough to ‘bunny ears’ Mr Gow.”

NOW:https://www.facebook.com/FionaPalmerRuralAuthor?ref=hl

Christine Stinson at SchoolChristine Stinson – THEN

“I met my favourite teacher in primary school. Sister Justinian looked a lot like a bull dog, with a particularly pugnacious bottom lip and a habit of throwing exercise books out the window (and onto the road) if she wasn’t happy with the standard of homework. Bless her, she gave me pictures to write stories about and didn’t mind how long those stories were, and my exercise book never ended up on the roadway.”

NOW: www.christinestinson.com

Heather Garside – THEN

Before- and after-school jobs included feeding the occasional poddy calf. My primary schooling was done by correspondence school as we lived too far from town to attend normal school. My mother taught all four of us and often battled with getting us into the school room. One morning we had gone off playing some distance from the house and poor Mum was calling and calling us to come home. How naughty were we! One of our cats came up to join us and began meowing at us. Then he turned around and starting walking back to the house, looking back at us and meowing every so often. We were so intrigued, we obediently followed him home!”

NOW: http://www.heathergarside.com

Jenn J McLeod – THEN

“The strongest memory for me at High school relates to that plot in the playground, our group’s patch of ground that no other group dared occupy. A recess oasis where battles were fought and friendships were forged.”

 

 

School’s out for the day. If you have any questions or 

suggestions, please raise your hand, leave a comment, share!

A word about that OTHER school reunion in Calingarry Crossing. 

Poor Maggie. She has no idea the perfect storm is

Find out more, right hereSimmering Seasonheaded her way.

For emergency alerts and warnings for Simmering Season, subscribe to Jenn J McLeod’s blog before you go, or LIKE her Facebook Page.