Category: GENERAL

A Fractured Fairy Tale
PINOCCHIO – when size matters

Once upon a time in far, far away Downtownland, a man named Pinocchio lived…
a contented little life,
in a tiny room,
in small house,
in a short street.

The only big thing about Pinocchio was his nose, which grew bigger and stronger with every lie. As a boy he’d been very proud of his nose, but lately it had stopped growing, no matter how many lies he told.

Desperate to see his nose gain its youthful vigour, he tried everything – including unsuccessful stints as both a used car salesman and a politician. But no matter how much he tried to lie, he just couldn’t get the limp-looking appendage up and pointing in the right direction.

His father was so disappointed for his son.
He said, “Son, I’m so disappointed for you.”
But Giuseppe had an idea. He took his son
in a big car,
on a long drive,
into the huge city
and a tall building.

Inside he met a short, podgy, kinda squidgy, sooky looking man who introduced himself as Kyle.
Kyle said, “So let me get this straight. You want to see if Pinocchio can lie so his nose will grow long and hard again?”
Giuseppe nodded.
“No problemo, I’ll just set up the lie detector while I’m waiting for my partner.” He sat Pinocchio down, strapped him in and wired him up.
Pinocchio was so scared his heart pounded (no it didn’t – he doesn’t have a heart, he’s made of wood). Pinocchio’s timbers trembled (that’s better) and he swallowed back the knot in his throat.

“The lie detector is ready.” Kyle announced. “We’ll soon know if Pinocchio is able to lie.”
Just then, Kyle’s partner entered the room. She was the most beautiful woman Pinocchio had ever seen and he soon felt the familiar tingle of his nose growing long and hard.
Kyle laughed and said to Giuseppe, “Not sure we need the lie detector therapy after all.”
“Kyle, I think we should call it quits right here,” the woman said. “Oh Pinocchio, I think I know what to do about this problem.”
“Oh, Jackie O,” said a happy, hard Pinocchio. “I nose you do.”

And they all lived happily ever after.

THE END

© Jenn J McLeod – 2009 RWA Clayton’s Conference entry

I read an article online recently about ‘writing platforms’.
It was saying it’s almost impossible to sell a first novel these days unless the author has a platform.
Okay, I thought, I’m pretty good on a soapbox. Will that do?

Of course, that’s not quite what they meant.

They were talking about having something that makes you qualified to write a book – a fascinating job, an interetsing hobby, a passion for something. In my case those three things equal writing.

I can see how it might help (eg Kathy Reichs), but is it essential? Does having specific expertise put you ahead of the thousands of other writers out there? Are we no good without it.(I think if I had a platform right now I’d hit Kathy Reichs over the head with it – Sorry Kathy, I love you, but jeez you’ve made it tough!) What I mean is, we can’t all be forensic anthropologists (I don’t even know how to spell it!)

Why is it no longer enough to simply have an imagination and an abliity to tell a good – I mean great – story?

So…does having a platform really make a difference?

Time to get hooked on those little words that hook up words and phrases and clauses.