Tag: Bar Yarns & Beer Nuts

Kim Kelly is the author of the novels Black Diamonds, This Red Earth and A Blue Mile. A book editor for nigh on twenty years in ‘real’ life, she lives in Orange, in the Central West of New South Wales.

Welcome to Calingarry Crossing pub, Kim. Come on in. Grab a pew. What can I get you to go with your beer nuts? (Shandy? Wine Spritzer? Pink Lemonade?)

I’ll have a Pilsner Urquell, please, otherwise known in these parts as Eastern European Koala Juice for its super fast delivery of a deliciously contented stupor. Apparently pensioners in the Czech Republic lobbied the government to have this stuff put on the Czech equivalent of the PBS. They failed, but they gave it a red hot go. True story. Maybe.

Hey, did you hear the one about …

The past, the present and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.

I’m a beer nut nut, Kim! What bar snack would you be and why?

Bread and something dippy like humus or tapenade. Posh pig here, thank you.

Ahh, that beer hit the spot. Let me slip a drink coaster under your glass while you tell us, as a writer, are you a messy desker or tidy desker? (1 = “I am a neat nut case” and 10 = “What desk? Where? Is there a desk here somewhere?”) Are you game to post a working space picture right now?

At the moment I don’t actually have a desk as we’re between houses and I’ve been relegated to a coffee table (sobs). Ordinarily, though, I’m fairly scarily neat , perhaps a 2, up from a 1 only because my notebook might not always be exactly square with the edge of the desk, or one of the knitted teddies that keep me company while I write might have keeled over with the stress of it all. I’m not neurotic, not really…

Okay Kim, the publican offers you free drinks all night if you will: Dance to Gangnam Style, sing John Denver’s ‘Take me Home Country Roads’ on the Karaoke machine, or spend an hour washing dishes?

Gotta love a bit of John Denver erupting from a contented stupor, don’t you? But can I sing ‘Annie’s Song’ instead? I’d like to show my romantic side and my talent for nasal whining.

Time to liven the place up. Got a buck? We can crank up the old jukebox in the corner. You get to pick three songs.

1. Just Because I Love You – Masters Apprentices
2. Rollercoaster – Machine Gun Fellatio
3. Thank You (For Loving Me At My Worst) – The Whitlams

An author, an agent and a chicken walk into the bar… How do you know which one crossed the road?

The author, of course. Being a narcissistic sociopath, the author is in fact the only one there.

There’s a stapler on the bar. Tell me what it’s doing there.

The author uses it to staple the chicken to the agent: to feel a tangible sense of engagement with reality, to create a point of drama, and to see what happens next.

The pub is the heart of a small town and most locals would be lost without one. What are three things you’d be lost without?

1. Husband.
2. No.1 son.
3. No.2 son.

Shhh! The last race of the day is on the TAB screen and I reckon I’ve picked a winner. I browse the race guide with the jockey colours influencing my bet. When browsing a bookshop, what influences you?

1. Review or recommendation – i.e., I ain’t browsing, I’m hunting
2. Subject
3. First chapter
4. Australian author

There are a few good prizes up for grabs in the bar jackpot. Do you have a lucky number?

Are you insane, Jenn?! I’m not telling you that. Someone might pinch it.

(Am I insane, Kim? My dog certainly thinks I am as I ROFLMAO over this yarn!)

The publican, Maggie, has called last drinks, my friend! But before we go, tell us how we can find out more about you and your writing/books.

Well, what a load of fun that was, Jenn! Thanks so much for inviting me to the pub. I’m chuffed.

First the blurb to go with the amazing cover of The Red Earth:

It’s November 1939, another war in Europe. And Bernie Cooper is wondering what’s ahead for her. She knows Gordon Brock is going to ask her to marry him – any second now. An honest country boy about to graduate from university as a geologist, he’s a good catch by anyone’s standards, too. And she’s going to say no.

The harsh realities of this Second World War have other plans for Bernie, though, and once her adored father is commissioned to serve again, she accepts Gordon’s proposal – mostly to please her dad. In any event, with Gordon off to New Guinea for the job of a lifetime, she’ll be glad of a temporary reprieve from walking down the aisle, won’t she?

As Gordon braces for the inevitable Japanese invasion of Rabaul, Bernie finds herself in the midst of the battle being fought on home soil – against the worst drought in living memory, against the menace of an unseen enemy, and against the unspeakable torment of not knowing if those dear to her are alive or dead.

From the beaches of Sydney to the dusty heart of the continent, This Red Earth is as much a love letter to the country, with all its beauty and its terror, as it is an intimate portrait of love itself.

Above all, this is a story of the greatest power we each possess – hope.

Not enough information? Click away…

Kim Kelly Facebook page

Pan Macmillan book page, for paperback & ebook

Bolinda ABC Talking Book page

You’ll discover an amazing line up of emerging and established authors joining me for a bar yarn and a beer nut throughout spring, summer, autumn and winter.

WINNER: Kim reckons it’s first in best dressed today. Thank you to everyone for commenting. There are more generous authors heading into the Calingarry Crossing pub for a yarn with me soon. (If you have not subscribed to my blog, now would be a good time!)

Heather Garside you will receive a copy of Kim Kelly’s fabulous This Red Earth.